Prayer to God today

I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

Valerie Oon’s Testimony

Note: This is Valerie Oon’s testimony which i find it extremely encouraging and i want to repost the article here with her permission. This is the link to her post -> http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=110120839014&ref=nf

God bless
Daniel

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Again, read this in entirety or not at all. Atheists, unleash your skepticism (:
And I hope this will encourage the people running after God.
—

Walking home, I had debated in my head the wisdom of publishing this post. And if I’m honest, the only reasons stopping me are fear and shame. Fear of judgment and sadly, ashamed of God. I’ve been an atheist a good part of my thinking life and consequently, I know a good many people who stand on the same camp. People who, as I had been, would seriously question the sanity and intellect of theists. This is no joke for me. I’ve been wrestling with notions of my potential dementia or stupidity.

For months now, I’ve been struggling to come to terms with the concept of a loving God, our Creator, His omniproperties and His supernatural ability. My faith in Christianity has been, hitherto, experimental. In fact, oh my God, I’ve just remembered that now would be about time my timeline expired. Wow, great timing, God. So, in my hunger for The Truth and partly because of a personal ‘immersive’ side project to ‘field research’ for a module I was taking last semester (PH2211 Philosophy of Religion), I joined The Outreach and was soon convinced by Daniel to challenge the existence of God by means of an experimental faith that will span 6 months. And let me tell you, I had been fully prepared to walk away smugly in 6 months, all equipped with robust academic reasons against the existence of this being. Unfortunately for my conceit, He triumphed. Kind of. But in return, He is giving (has given and will give) me so much more.

My experimental journey with the Creator began with a tearfully uttered sinner’s prayer at CKRM, a church that move(d) in the power of the Holy Spirit, the second (?) time I visited. Why tearfully? I don’t know what came over me, I attribute it to fatigue (don’t wanna be presumptuous yet). That day was business as usual for the ‘crazy church’ (yes, that’s what I called it), manifestations all over the place that sent me to fits of hilarity. I have to admit that part of the reason I bothered spending my Saturday over there was the entertain I got in return. The presence of God in that place, apparently, was so strong that people drop like flies under the Spirit all throughout the preaching. Not only that, people laugh and run around the place, roar and tremble and all that stuff. I don’t even hear half the things the pastor says. (You people are so thinking we’re loonies.) That day, AGAIN, one of the pastors called me up to pray (with the intention of causing my manifestation-unsuccessfully). By the way, Dick is scared to death of that place because of that. Sorry your secret is out, dear. This time I was really scared because Dick had just fallen under the Spirit right before my eyes. I was totally NOT laughing anymore because I know him and I know he wouldn’t fake something like that. It was either delusion or the presence is real. So by that time, I was bawling my eyes out worrying for him. And honestly, I was half prepared to flee from this cult parade. Ok because I had been crying at the time, this part is a bit blurry. I can’t remember what the pastor was praying but she made me cry even harder, in a not-so-bad way, with me all the time trying my utmost best to stand on my wobbly feet and finally surrendering my full weight on Janice. Then I just felt, I don’t know, like, ready. I felt ready to get to know this God and see if He works out for me. So that was it–my first step, with Daniel and Janice and Dick holding my hands.

The past few months had me catapulting from vibrant belief to stubborn unbelief, desperate longing to incredulous disdain. Midway through this journey, I realized that no academic grounding can keep my faith until I experience the full glory of His word fulfilled for me. I completed that philosophy module defeated in my search for Truth because philosophy did nothing for me except give me false excitement only to take it away with each counter-argument and counter-counter-argument. And in the end, it left me with an inconclusive conclusion that made me wildly ravenous for a transcendental understanding of this world.

I began praying to God for a revelation. For such a spectacular revelation of His existence that I would have to be stupid to deny it. For such an intimate display that would only make sense to me and me alone and in that instant, strengthen my faith in Him so that I can never be the same again. For my own story to tell. A proof of Him so strong that my testimony can bring glory to Him through its impartation to disbelievers because I had been one of them. I don’t want a subpar understanding, I don’t want a subpar faith. I don’t want signs that I can rationalize to shreds of useless paper. I don’t want a squeak. I want to shout it out. I want the best or nothing at all. And if He was so great, I want to see Him do that.

Today, He finally moved a muscle. Today is the beginning of my never-be-the-same-again.

Today started out bad for me. In fact, it had started being bad since about that day I clubbed. God must be finally doing something about my social smoking. (Yep, secret’s out, not everyone knows that.) Long story short, I felt like crap after that day. In fact, on my way home at 4 a.m., I felt so remorseful I went to sit at the park and prayed for God to keep my bearings. Mostly, I also felt guilty towards Dick for dishonoring God. Weird how my brain works. That was Saturday. And then I couldn’t get my lazy ass to run. So I’m in desperate want of endorphin and I just felt ready to blow my top at some poor guy (namely, Dick). He really doesn’t deserve that so I prayed before leaving the house that God will bless the poor guy and bless me with some joy until I get my runner’s high.

We have theology classes by Chris the Genius, B.A. Theology, in Daniel’s house every Tuesday and today’s lesson on the apocalyptic worldviews of the Israelites pre-birth of Jesus -??- did nothing for me. But after class, I was fixated with Daniel’s gossip sharing with Dick and somehow the conversation evolved to him telling me about manifestations and testimonies of people who only experience it after years of desiring it. I began tearing and holding back tears. Specifically at the time Daniel mentioned his experience when he prayed for the Spirit to come and be his friend, stretching his hand out, it happened. It swept over him. Couldn’t complete his sentence, reduced to fits of giggles. And then I started sobbing, full force, like someone died. Ok I may be emotional but I don’t quite SOB at nothing. How do I explain what I felt at the time? Just…moved. Profoundly touched by some unnamed event or feeling or something. An opening in my heart. We joined hands in prayer and I just…felt. I felt that God…is. He exists. Period. You can have a bunch of academics postulating until the cow comes home and not reach a satisfactory conclusion but I tell you, this feeling. It’s like “Shut up, I am here. See? You can quit speculating.” I have NEVER felt like that in my life. Doubt consumes me. Doubt is me. But at that moment, all my heart and mind were in complete agreement to a fact that just happened. Wow. And I was uplifted.

Call me delusional. Then again, I wouldn’t even say this is a full revelation from God. He knows it’s not enough for me. It’s just a stir from Him. Something to keep me going, or just to cheer me up, or maybe He’s just being kind to Dick. I still have my doubts but now, I have no doubt that He will make Himself real to me… IF He really exists.

Despair

The job that could spell a breakthrough in my finances woe is but gone, and when the news came, i am quick to blame it on their arrogance but I am so wrong. Perhaps i am not good enough for the job offer after all project management is not my strength and i am left rueing in hurt like a whimpy pup.

Maybe when Pastor Judah Smithis right that most of the time we expect miracle to come from a particular avenue and in this case, i expected a breakthrough of a good job but God might be doing a curve ball to surprise me. I am telling myself again and again that I can trust in my Father although I am doubting if this is a repetition to make myself believer sort of like brainwashing myself without the essence of a real faith?

I am getting tired of this burden where i can’t afford to see a doc, pay for my mum’s medical bill, or even take my grandmother to a doc for her arm, and for Mercy’s bills. I feel downright useless and worthless. What am id oing with earning this meagre amount of money and in a debt i can’t do anything about it. I hate my life and my frustration of the situation, and i wish i can just not do anything and let someone or even let God handle it cos i feel my inner tank of will and drive is drying up and left empty.  How I wish i know at least a process of how to come to Jesus so i can find rest. How? How? How?

Pastor Judah Smith at New Creation

Oh, taste and see! The message from Pastor Judah Smith at the pulpit of New Creation Church resounded with lots of humour but at the same time, drove the message of a new covenant that God intended to have with His children – us, the Church.

By mere observation of Christianity and Jesus, is but a total misrepresentation that God has never intended us to have. It is not theology, not any form of scholastic work on biblical doctrines and history that can reveal the heart of Jesus. He has invited us, and me to a feast, a feast that we need to taste His flesh, and drink of His Blood for by it, we do not have eternal life. Not that i am being gross and disgusting here, but looking at it, how can we taste that our Lord is good indeed, that His Grace and His mercy, and His Faithfulness is real everyday! Just like, we cannot describe how the durian taste like, unless i bring it to the friend to try, then, yea either you will hate it or love the taste of the creamy durian. It is today, i know i will to taste Him everyday. Yummy.

The invisible line

In life, there are always standards, usually set by people around, and the worst standards unfortunately are the one set by ourselves. Why it is the worst, because it is either higher than what we can achieve, or the lack of it simply shows the cruelty of it all. I have in the last few days realized a few such lines were drawn, by people around me and those i have set unknowingly. Maybe such is true when a comment is made on my character, the lack of integrity, and then, perhaps to the area of my approach to work, i find myself not giving my best. I have decided to leave all what i have done in my work behind and hopefully find a place where at this time, i feel is the time for the change. After giving a year or so to the company, where the lesson is learnt, and time to move on, should be given due consideration that i cannot afford to indulge in a dream i feel is gradually becoming impossible to see. While owning a business is a considered by many, fortunated and blessed, to me, it is a drag. I am not called to be a boss perhaps, and because of this childish dream i have let my family down, let myself down and i am beginning to think the person closest to me, won’t bothered to understand. I hope to take a breather, to go to somewhere even might not be physical distance, i hope to get away from everything, everyone and be myself, where i will not hear people’s nag, or comments made about me, or anything, i just wish for the silence of the jungle, the sound of my own breathing, the thrinkles of raindrops splashing on the glasses, and to take a deep breathe, and feel the world that is bigger than my problems. How i wish that, and knowing my God, my Father in heaven longs to show His love through this time, there is but a quiet comfort, a silent joy.

Change

Change is inevitable, but the path to it can be either by our own choice or relunctantly forced upon us. Never before was I being laid bare the truly ugly side in my heart, for it is right to say there is nothing more wicked than the heart of man. I find myself standing in trial of my selfish and perhaps sinister thoughts. The initial delight in putting someone down for my own glory is intoxicating, if not for the work of the holy spirit, i would have not realized the potent poison brewing in my heart that threatens the sanctity of my soul. Tot ell my father i am sorry and to thank him for the constant reminder that i need not be a slave to the harsh laws of my fallen nature but now i can choose to obey wholeheartedly, the law of love which is above all, reign supremely.

The morning journey

The sound of heavenly orchestral on a steady and constant beat accompanied my excruciatingly painful and torturous journey to work. It is not just about the inner struggle to find equilibrium to life and its purpose, but the nagging pain which oftens run into nauseous migraine. Nevertheless the ride is interrupted by the earlier conversation on expectation and it troubles my heart so. My incompetence in life is often marked by the big obnoxious F word in bright red, and it presence lingers at the edge of my constant attention. In every areas with how the world judge by its frivilous standards, i have been found wanting. No one is perfect is perhaps the most universally accepted conclusion and reality that almost seems to be the ironically, the most perfect excuse for mankind.My thought was interrupted by a sudden bout of strange burts of sneezes that i found quite amusing, after all, no one is perfect, and the perfect start to the day – a cool rainy morning.

Godly character

Better the little that the righteous have than the wealth of
many wicked; for the power of the wicked will be broken, but the
LORD upholds the righteous.

— Psalm 37:16-17

Over the last 2 months, I was put through a situation i believe to have tested my character, and i have to say, i did not truly pass with flying colours. I fumbled and i felt i was tested with the first chance where my debt could be cleared but at a cost of compromising in what to me, is the question of the right thing to do and what not to in the eyes of God. I felt my heart tugging at the lure of an opportunity i truly could be free at any cost, but i thank God, i did not fall so hard that i had a chance to turn back and do the right thing. Even at the cost of knowing my debt remains and like the verse today which confirms the nature of this test, i believe God is teaching me and bringing me to a season to know true righteousness is worth more than the weath of this world.

Rick Warren – the False prophet?

Rick Warren envisions coalition of faith

The original post of this comes from here. For many years, many people have written on the hidden agenda of Pastor Rick Warren and the spirit of deception in his vision to unite the Christians and the Muslims. I am not surprised, since the inauguration of President Obama, whose religious affiliation is questionable, will America be the next Islamic nation? Probably yes.

Another article from Jan Markell to Pastor Rick Warren that is noteworthy to read. Click here

Faith takes the leap

Late that afternoon, the followers came to Jesus and said,
“No people live in this place. And it is already late. Send
the people away so they can go to the towns and buy food for
themselves.” Jesus answered, “The people don’t need to go
away. You give them some food to eat.” The followers
answered, “But we have only five loaves of bread and two
fish.” Jesus said, “Bring the bread and the fish to me.” Then
Jesus told the people to sit down on the grass. Jesus took
the five loaves of bread and the two fish. Jesus looked into
the sky and thanked God for the food. Then Jesus divided the
loaves of bread. Jesus gave the bread to the followers, and
the followers gave the bread to the people. All the people
ate and were filled. After the people finished eating, the
followers filled twelve baskets with the pieces of food that
were not eaten. There were about 5,000 men there that ate.
There were also women and children that ate.

— Matthew 14:15-21 (ERV)

When i read the above passage on the miracle Jesus performed, despite the obvious lack of resources and I wonder, this is where the problem lies. How many of us actually read the bible and believe what Jesus did, he can do again today in our lives, or not to sound abit too farfetched, in mine for instance? There is a great lack. Perhaps not just my problem, but thousands if not millions of hungry Christians out there who needs a miracle everyday, or carrying a baby with AIDS and can’t live to see tomorrow, how can I connect to the faith to see Jesus performing the same miracle today?

I realised it is about the Faith taking a leap. Faith that breaks the limitation set by the mind, mind that is conditioned by this world, by the facade of the fallen state that we cannot but see that if we have faith as small as the mustard see, we can move mountains! hell i can’t even move a mustard seed not to mention a hill or mountain, but if God’s words is true, then whatever is in the bible, then it must be true, then if God is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow, then God can do the same for those who love him? Then if all condition remains constant, then the only problem lies in my faith and in my mind, that my faith is of the carnal state that i cannot see past the problem and see the providence of God. I need Jesus to surprise me as He has surprised the disciples who has picked up so much food after the meal. God please surprise me!!

More on the Real Christianity

I read this article on my blackberry and i got a pleasant surprise as i was just talking to Pastor Sally about what I’ve learned.

Addicted to Legalism, by Ron Rose

Preparation

I grew up in what many would call an ultra-conservative church. For us
there was one definition of disciple: Bible-Learner. So, to be a good
disciple we had to study. “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a
workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of
truth” (2 Timothy 2:15 KJV). From the first grade, I was convinced that
when Jesus returned, the safest place would be in my room studying the
Bible.

For most of us, the Bible was a textbook to be studied and quoted, even
if it felt like punishment to do so. Before I graduated high school, I
could prove where everyone else was wrong about doctrine and details.

I think that’s where I developed my addiction to legalism. I knew all
the “right” answers to the “right” questions. I could quote all the
passages, but didn’t buy into the spirit of condemnation and judgment
that I heard from the pulpit. Somehow, I learned how to separate the
teaching from the attitude. I was a good boy, I obeyed the rules, most
of the time, but I couldn’t shake that lingering fear of God and the
Judgment Day.

I was a functioning legalism addict. I had to have the rules to feel
normal. Church attendance became a burden, but at least I could see my
friends. My body was there, but my heart was far, far away.

Then out of the blue, a friend introduced me to the “Good News.” Grace
was life-altering. For the first time I understood the significance of
faith — transformational faith. And, discovered a more correct
translation of 2 Timothy 2:15.

The Christian life is not meant to be lived in the pages of a book; it
is meant to write a new book, the Book of Life, outside the walls of
church. Church was not intended as a retreat, it was intended as an
unquenchable source of energy — the spiritual place where we spur one
another on to love and good works (Hebrews 10:25).

Grace forced me to re-think what I thought was already set in stone. I
had to unlearn what I had spent a lifetime learning. I had to give up
legalism. It was easy to say the words, but much more difficult to put
into practice. Even then, it was only accomplished through the
undeserved and unexpected power of the Holy Spirit.

I had always been aware of the power resident in the church —
gathered, but now I have experienced the unlimited power in the church
— scattered. Remember, Jesus went to the mountains to pray, but he
didn’t stay there. He never stayed inside the walls. His ministry was
always outside the walls.

Now, I know what it’s like to be a follower of Jesus. I still study,
but I study to know Jesus, to learn to live like HIM. As I follow him,
he transforms me; I find myself helping the blind to see, the left-out
to belong, the broken to be mended, the rejected to acceptance in spite
of the past, and the legalistic to find grace. After all, I am a
follower of the Giver of Life.

How about you? Inspiration

A number of years ago I was part of a small group of men we called an
A-team (short for Accountability Team). We closed each of our meetings
by sharing prayer requests. It was during one of those prayer times
that God rocked my world.

Spend this week following Jesus outside the walls.

David was praying for God to provide $200 by the end of the day for an
out-of-work neighbor. In mid-sentence Tom interrupted, “Stop!” It was
the first time I had ever heard an adult interrupt someone else talking
to God. I wondered if lightning was about to strike.

Tom pulled out two $100 bills from his wallet and handed them to David,
“I just heard God say, ‘David doesn’t have to ask me, you’ve got the
money in your pocket.’ So here.”

For the rest of day I couldn’t get this incident out of my mind. How
many times do we think we are doing the “spiritual thing” by praying
for God to do something for us or someone else, when really a follower
of Jesus would just take care of it?

When should we quit praying and start acting?

Motivation

Time for some re-think.

Call this the “Unlimited Commission.” Grab a partner and spend this
week following Jesus outside the walls. Be the story in your world. Let
God open your eyes to a world of adventure outside the walls of church.
Just follow HIS lead. At just the right time, HE will tell you when to
act.

Stop praying for God to intervene in your life and become HIS hand of
intervention for others. That’s what followers do. That’s what Jesus
did and still does.

I think many of us, deep inside wish Christianity has a bit more than attending church, doing quiet time, doing all the goody things in church like evangelism, or even witnessing seems like another tick in the  list of things to do to qualify ourselves as a Christian. Even so, it is not the big thing I need to do or even raise the dead or something, it is about taking my Christianity outside on the street and in the real world, and making Christianity work like it should, having faith in God on a daily basis, even trusting him on something i need help on with regards to work, or towards each other, and other matters.

Standards of a godly man.

I was reading Psalms 15 today and the caption reads “Description of the Godly”

Psalms 15

Lord, who can dwell in your Tent?
Who can live on  Your holy mountain?
The one who lives honestly
practices righteousness
and acknowledges the truth in his heart
who does not slander with his tongue
who does not harm his friend
or discredit his neighbour
who despises the one rejected by the Lord
but honours those who fear the Lord
who keeps his word
whatever the cost,
who does not lend his money at interest
or take a bribe against the innocent
the one who does these things will never be moved.

These are the description of the Godly in God’s standards, not ours. I was reading this, and thinking to myself, wow, i would love to know such person, and i can’t help but wonder if i fit into this description? Truth is, i am far from what is above. My tongue has not failed to slander, or the practice of righteousness, what have I done? At least i know i do not harm my friend, but do i discredit my neighbour? Have I been fair and just towards my dealings with Shaun? or other people? Have I despised the one rejected by the Lord, and how do i know he or she is rejected by the Lord? And have i failed to honour those who fears the Lord? At least i know when i lend, i do not expected them to return, and more i think i am the borrower. I will never take a bribe against the innocent, and do i keep my word? Not all the time. In conclusion, i am a half baked godly man. haha. but i am glad, all the more, i know God has not looked at me any different, because now, when God looks at me, He see Christ in me. Do not judge me cos i am still changing, i am still learning and i am still being worked on by the master Potter.