Sin and me

Judges 10:15 – “But the Israelites said to the Lord, “We have sinned, do with us whatever you think best, but please rescue us now.” When God’s people realized the depth of their sin and impending punishment by God, they repented and asked for His help; unfortunately, we often hide or avoid the issue of our sin. We must not view confession as humiliation or weakness. Acknowledging our sin, and asking for forgiveness, cleansing and power opens door for God to use us mightily. I believe this is something all of us, especially me, need to realize that the provision of forgiveness is given in an environment of restoration, not at the premise of destruction. That’s one thing the devil will never be able to do, as the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, bent on destruction of the saints, but God, the Lion of Judah, must confront us, but gently restoring through our confession, repentance and provision of restoration.

Godly Sorrows

Godly sorrow worketh repentance.”

2 Corinthians 7:10

Genuine, spiritual mourning for sin is the work of the Spirit of God. Repentance is too choice a flower to grow in nature’s garden. Pearls grow naturally in oysters, but penitence never shows itself in sinners except divine grace works it in them. If thou hast one particle of real hatred for sin, God must have given it thee, for human nature’s thorns never produced a single fig. “That which is born of the flesh is flesh.”

True repentance has a distinct reference to the Saviour. When we repent of sin, we must have one eye upon sin and another upon the cross, or it will be better still if we fix both our eyes upon Christ and see our transgressions only, in the light of his love.

True sorrow for sin is eminently practical. No man may say he hates sin, if he lives in it. Repentance makes us see the evil of sin, not merely as a theory, but experimentally—as a burnt child dreads fire. We shall be as much afraid of it, as a man who has lately been stopped and robbed is afraid of the thief upon the highway; and we shall shun it—shun it in everything—not in great things only, but in little things, as men shun little vipers as well as great snakes. True mourning for sin will make us very jealous over our tongue, lest it should say a wrong word; we shall be very watchful over our daily actions, lest in anything we offend, and each night we shall close the day with painful confessions of shortcoming, and each morning awaken with anxious prayers, that this day God would hold us up that we may not sin against him.

Sincere repentance is continual. Believers repent until their dying day. This dropping well is not intermittent. Every other sorrow yields to time, but this dear sorrow grows with our growth, and it is so sweet a bitter, that we thank God we are permitted to enjoy and to suffer it until we enter our eternal rest.

The message of Grace is incomplete without an understanding on repentance. Grace is best demonstrated when it is met with a response, otherwise the beauty and the wonder of His Grace is lost, for like a beautiful flowers were blossomed with no one to appreciate its beauty. For Grace must push us to repent, not in a passive ways but that we are all struggling with sins and as such, till the day God calls us back, God’s grace compels us to look at Sin in its fullest ugliness, and that it must born in us a true hatred of Sin, because it is so hateful to God as well.

How God can use anyone if only…

How God can use this man, so he can use anyone if we only give ourselves to His purpose.

When God draws near.

It was a sense of great honour to be in the presence of great people, and I personally have a few in my memory. But never a time that I was in the presence of great people that i do not deserve, or that I was drawn into the presence that’s based on the air of hostility except one.

Today, after weeks of intense struggles, that I’ve decided the course I would have to undertake. I was offered help, but at the course of another debt that i cannot hope to repay. The business I have set up unfortunately hasn’t really taken off, with many problems that i seems to be helpless with – like dealing with people in office that is wholly incompetent and getting backstabbed by that ingrates. Lack of appropriate financial compensation from the business really puts my faith to the test, but it was in reality the knowledge that my burden will be tripled when Mercy goes off to the mission field in Jan. I find myself unable to trust God to be the Jehovah Jireh, and in fact, i find Him to be far off; hence my christian walk suffers that i cannot come to Him in confidence.

On top of the business problems, financial problems, in personal life, i found myself emotional drained and unstable. I need a long break, I need a reason from God to why i need to go through all these, or that if this is in His will? Getting involved in the youth, in discipleship, which i would love to, but i won’t because i cannot commit when my mind and heart are telling me otherwise.

Under my care was one brother in Christ, Boon Wan. He hasn’t been attending church and i messaged him asking how he is doing, and the reply was that he wants to lead his own life, making money, taking care of his birds and managing his house etc and he is not inclined to come to church. Not that i am shocked by this, cos i have already in mind why he has been absent from Church. But it was my response that i am shocked. It is not the righteous that Christ came, in fact if i am so good, there wouldn’t be a need for God’s grace and mercy every day. It is not that i need to go to church daily or the length of my prayer that justifies me, but it is my conscious need for God that God is pleased with. i can’t live a day without His Grace and Mercy for indeed it is His faithfulness and loving kindness that sustain me. One thing is that i told him, the Church and the family at Paradise of God will always welcome him and will always be there in prayer for him. I think the Church might not be perfect but we can at least love, not just that, but love each other deeply in the Love of Jesus.

I reflected on that incident, that through my words, i began to realize the shift in my theology; now not that i am a gnostic and paganistic cult guy, but i am seeing the world through the eyes of God, and isn’t that theology. Theology in itself is merely a scholastic pursuit of the assumption to know God, but that is wrong. Theology ought to be tickled with knowing God through His Eyes, and His heartbeat for i have learnt to know someone, is to know His heartbeat and to see the world through His Eyes.

I am not perfect, like what Ryan would have inferred, i am far from perfect. But i hope it is my little steps to change, to walk rightly before God is what matters to Him, and if i really believe God is God, and Jesus is God, and Jesus is real and everything that’s written in the bible is real, then i must believe He can take a -10 and a -10 (total -20) to be a million for His glory. Ryan said I am a -10 in terms of financial, and Mercy -10, so how can a -20 touch the world? Yes it is true in Man’s eye, but now, i also see how a boy with 5 loaves of bread and 3 fishes fed the multitude that day.