Good reminder

21 12 2008

Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping to pick them up

This is so good!

A case for a lack of faith?

20 12 2008

I realised testimonies ought to be given with an end in mind – that’s the glorification of His work and His Glory to be exemplified and shown through our weaknesses. That’s what I have failed in my most recent testimony.

By believe a lie that by giving or in the word of most preachers that is sowing a seed, that God will return the blessing. Even though, there are many who preached on Seek first the kingdom of God and all his righteousness, and all these shall be added unto you as the mantra that it is God’s intention to bless us when we position ourselves in His will. I find that quite biblically correct, however, with what has happened recently i am beginning to doubt the validity of that teaching with what has happened in my life.

By sowing a seed that is way beyond what I can give, which means for the month i have none left, absolutely, no money for my bills, and no money for food etc for 1 month, (counting i have about now 60 cents, and a whole lots of bills to pay), which i was told to expect a blessing. Yes many would say God did bless, by giving us a deal of a million dollar. Hey wait a minute, that’s to my company, of which we do not get paid until like say a million years later, and then, from now till then, we are to continue to expect God to provide? On the Tuesday Group sharing, only when we are in a place of obedience, then God will provide, means I must be really sinning and in a place of absolute disobedience, that i do not see the providence of God in my life.

Or i came to a conclusion on my way back, that i am in the midst of testing… which i do not see the end for i am about to step beyond that fine thin line of hoping for hope to see God’s providence, or that the God that preacher is preaching about is a liar, for the preacher said God will bless in 7 days without fail. Or the God i serve is different, and if He is a different God from who the preacher said He was, then either in somewhere this God has a plan that i cannot begin to comprehend, or He doesn’t care.

It is only today i realised the love professed humanly is just so ‘humanly’. And mind you, i just got back from a wedding of a couple that went on dating for more than 12 years and it was a lovely wedding, and deep down, i am happy for them. But does it mean, with such burden of thought and troubles, am i obliged to smile at others, and not doing so, am i displaying inconsideration and being rude? I just want to be left alone because all my energy and zeal is being drowned in the heaviness of burden that i am desperate for a release. Maybe, after all these years, my pursuit of God is a waste of time or that i am just doing it right. I am tired, and if i were to continue to fight on, on whose strength must i rely on? My faith has lost its zest and energy as Superman was when touched by the Kryptonate.

What is with my life?

19 12 2008

Do not let me live as if life were a matte of keeping regulations, don’t touch, don’t taste, don’t handle but let me live out of a deep sense of love and loyalty to my saviour

My life

9 12 2008

My life must now pursue the knowledge of my Lord Jesus.

He knows all my needs

8 12 2008

“Thou, O God, hast prepared of Thy goodness for the poor.” –Psalm 68:10 All God’s gifts are prepared gifts laid up in store for wants foreseen. He anticipates our needs; and out of the fulness which He has treasured up in Christ Jesus, He provides of His goodness for the poor. You may trust Him for all the necessities that can occur, for He has infallibly foreknown every one of them. He can say of us in all conditions, “I knew that thou wouldst be this and that.” A man goes a journey across the desert, and when he has made a day’s advance, and pitched his tent, he discovers that he wants many comforts and necessaries which he has not brought in his baggage. “Ah!” says he, “I did not foresee this: if I had this journey to go again, I should bring these things with me, so necessary to my comfort.” But God has marked with prescient eye all the requirements of His poor wandering children, and when those needs occur, supplies are ready. It is goodness which He has prepared for the poor in heart, goodness and goodness only. “My grace is sufficient for thee.” “As thy days, so shall thy strength be.” Reader, is your heart heavy this evening? God knew it would be; the comfort which your heart wants is treasured in the sweet assurance of the text. You are poor and needy, but He has thought upon you, and has the exact blessing which you require in store for you. Plead the promise, believe it and obtain its fulfillment. Do you feel that you never were so consciously vile as you are now? Behold, the crimson fountain is open still, with all its former efficacy, to wash your sin away. Never shall you come into such a position that Christ cannot aid you. No pinch shall ever arrive in your spiritual affairs in which Jesus Christ shall not be equal to the emergency, for your history has all been foreknown and provided for in Jesus.

As i was about to give up to trust God in being my Jehovah Jireh, i read this and was encouraged. The opposite of Joy is not Sadness, but unbelief. I need to press on, to remain in conviction that God can provide. Lord, i will trust in You and continue to give thanks for all that is in my life – Mercy, job and the loving kindness and faithfulness you have shown every day in my life, i will continue to believe.