The invisible line

24 07 2009

In life, there are always standards, usually set by people around, and the worst standards unfortunately are the one set by ourselves. Why it is the worst, because it is either higher than what we can achieve, or the lack of it simply shows the cruelty of it all. I have in the last few days realized a few such lines were drawn, by people around me and those i have set unknowingly. Maybe such is true when a comment is made on my character, the lack of integrity, and then, perhaps to the area of my approach to work, i find myself not giving my best. I have decided to leave all what i have done in my work behind and hopefully find a place where at this time, i feel is the time for the change. After giving a year or so to the company, where the lesson is learnt, and time to move on, should be given due consideration that i cannot afford to indulge in a dream i feel is gradually becoming impossible to see. While owning a business is a considered by many, fortunated and blessed, to me, it is a drag. I am not called to be a boss perhaps, and because of this childish dream i have let my family down, let myself down and i am beginning to think the person closest to me, won’t bothered to understand. I hope to take a breather, to go to somewhere even might not be physical distance, i hope to get away from everything, everyone and be myself, where i will not hear people’s nag, or comments made about me, or anything, i just wish for the silence of the jungle, the sound of my own breathing, the thrinkles of raindrops splashing on the glasses, and to take a deep breathe, and feel the world that is bigger than my problems. How i wish that, and knowing my God, my Father in heaven longs to show His love through this time, there is but a quiet comfort, a silent joy.

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