Wishing on a hope

10 09 2007

You shall live and not die – the words echoed by pastor Frankie on his sermon, which a familiar passage but appearing more and more unconvincing every time i read that chapter. I doubt i have that courage to declare that energy and will to live, for that much, both i am lacking of. I am feeling a strange and almost surrealistic a peace in the coming storm, of which i am quite uncertain of is i will find myself alone. As much as i am sick to the core of my hypocrisy that i actually need friends, to the fact, i am used to standing alone on the battlefield without any need of sympathy. Especially to passerby with the acronym of passerby@hotmail.com without guts to reveal your vile identity, i am in no need of any reminder why i have decided i had enough of hypocrites, like you and maybe i have formed someone whom i hate and a guilt of burden towards, that what i hate, is what i am. While everything eludes me and i am in lack of everything, i shall not disgust myself any further of any desires that i will prefer to draw sword and battle on alone. Please do not mind my thinly veiled disgust of so called families, for there is indeed none i count as family or friends.

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