who am i?

27 09 2006

One of the most common tagline on my MSN messenger – “Who am i?” – a question that has involved massive discussion and arguments in my head from both side of the camp, but it is in the end, a still small voice that settles the issue.

I’ve often wondered who am i really? Just another speck of dust in this massive universe, i do not have a great past, often it is almost scandalous, i was a disgrace to Christ with my alcoholic years, i haven’t been the best of testimonies when comes to relationship, nor was my conduct something i can boost about. I could talk about the days in the army, but it was a time i rather not talk about it at all, even tho the proudest moment was when i was commissioned as an officer in the Singapore Armed Forces despite me having injuries etc, it was more of a personal achievement than anything else. Being an officer, is nothing in my opinion. Then i turned to knowledge, i studied theology, and that makes it even worse, because such knowledge made me more judgemental, sometimes i cannot live up to the standard God has set, and that’s condemnation! I am not gifted, i do not have talents like Jenn or Eric who can play instrument well, nor am i as annointed as Rev Jimmel, or as charismatic as the Prime Minister.

As i struggled through this course of really finding who i am, the book “When God whispers your name” by Max Lucado constantly reminded me of the content of the book and then the still small voice spoke “You are my child” that’s all it need to settle the discussion and argument once and for all. I can write about this because i am secured, i am placed on the position of identity that is not changed by circumstances, my past, even my future for all these are redeemed and a second chance to life is given by the author of LIFE himself!




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