Not just a satrical joke on the really cheesy movie Four Weddings and a funeral, but within this single week, 3 people i know and indirectly related passed away. two from a stroke, one from cancer, and a wedding of a friend last saturday that i did not attend.
Such events did trigger something inside, that life is so unpredictable. Indeed, we are like a breathe, that we are here one minute and gone in the next. Such fragility of life makes life all the more beautiful, all the more sad, all the more exciting at the same time, all the more tragic. I was listening to F.I.R, (yes yes, i do listen to chinese songs, as i am learning to enjoy them more and more), that songs are so full of passion. It is like songs of Linkin Park, that invokes a strong burst of passion for life, love and social issues, but for me, i have pondered about life itself.
I have achieved nothing, i have nothing, and i realized i am nothing. When one strip away the frivilous details of life, peer away those layers of facade that we cover ourselves to pull a fast one on people, and what remains is a core of deep rotting interior, that we are especially me, inevitable wicked and truly pathetic creatures.
I put on my facebook status – I am certified a Loser in Life. It reflects how i truly feel about myself. Failure in Life, in career wise, and everything else. I have count everything lost, and sometimes i do wonder if God truly exist, or does He still work in the affairs of Man, perhaps He does, but i have found his absence in the evidences of my life, that it is leading straight to a certain end i dread so much.
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